Acquisitions Incorporated

Brimstone, fire, and smoke surround our heroes as dreams and nightmares both come true.

Jim Darkmajiq's history is revealed, and his future is called into question.

Acquisitions Inc sinks to new depths, in waters murkier than ever.

Myconid madness! Things get a little hot and nasty in this spore-dense space, as Jim disappears into a role.

Confronted with sinister statuary, the gang take a tasteful approach to this level of the dwarven mine.

Finding themselves in what might be an infernal nursery, the team learns about the devilish games Omin has been playing.

Jim, convinced that his new friend Omin Dran is actually his temporal guide, is invited to perform for an exclusive audience.

Released at last from his crystalline bubble, Bobbie Zimmeruski is finally able to join the party in their quest to collect pieces of the obelisk, just in time for the world to start falling apart. Literally.

Transported by an obsidian shard to a flourishing underground swampland, Acq Inc makes friends with some sentient fronds, while trying to keep the prismatic-spherically trapped Bobbie safe from more malevolent forces.

Picking up where 'Acquisitions Incorporated: The Series' left off, our heroes are recovering from a disastrous encounter with a dragon and their segment of the Rod of Seven Parts has been taken. They must board their airship, ascend into the stratosphere, and fight to recover the Rod before it can be used to summon a terrible demon lord. Join us as Jerry Holkins and Mike Krahulik from Penny Arcade, Scott Kurtz from PvP, and renowned author Patrick Rothfuss team up with Dungeon Master Chris Perkins to once again battle in the skies over Faer�n.

The adventure opens with Acquisitions Incorporated posted up in the Dwarven settlement of Hammerfast. Their efforts in Hammerfast reaches the temple of Moradin who are willing to resurrect Aeofel, who died at the end of Season 3, free of charge. After discussing amongst themselves; Jim, Omin, and Binwin agree to participate in the public resurrection ritual.

Aeofel attempts to escape the pit, firstly with a 16 and secondly with an 18 yelling for help. Jim throws open the wardrobe searching for the fabled hidden armor Sitheer spoke of and is slashed by hidden trap blades but does discover a particularly impressive set of chainmail. While the rest of his team is finishing their battle with Dwarven guards and automatons, Aeofel finally falls unconscious in the acid pit and fails his first death saving throw. Jim grabs the supposedly acid-proof chainmail still attempting to fight back and passing off this armor to Omin. Aeofel reaches his negative bloodied value and dies in the acid. Chris spends the next few minutes explaining the concept of death to the adults at the table. Binwin, Omin, and Jim finish fighting the remaining foes and regroup in the bedroom of Leer Ambershard. The party uses Sitheer's guidance to evade the remaining traps and escape Ambershard Manor, Jim fishes out some of Aeofel's old golden armbands before leaving.

Jim kills the very same crossbowman that shot him, using his Action point to blast another three guards away (as minions they die in 1 hit). Leer stabs Aeofel and shifts away again trying to put distance between himself and the rest of Acqusitions Inc (who are currently being pummeled by automatons). In a mental flashback, at Sitheer's questioning, Binwin recollects why the Bronzebottoms are opposed to the Ambershards -- namely the loss of the Bronzebottom mine. Aeofel continues to follow Leer and uses his own Action Point to strike him twice. It's worth mentioning that at this point Binwin, Omin, and Jim cannot see Aeofel.

The party attempts to trap the Dwarves by putting a weapon through the handles of the double doors running ahead and down the hallway swinging another door open. Binwin reveals this to be a bedroom with a single Dwarf laying in the bed. From back down at the end of the hallway that the party came from, the rigged door still manages to hold and trap that room's occupants. The Dwarf abed curses the party and calls for guards reaching for a weapon as the encounter begins.

Omin starts by healing Jim and bringing him back to consciousness and misses another Lance of Faith. Binwin manages to topple the boar and kill it. Aeofel intimidates Thazan and gets him to open the front door to the Ambershard manor. The party tosses Thazan's cabin finding 100 gold pieces, a pinup statuette of a Dwarven woman, and a Potion of Healing. Opening the main doors to the Ambershard Manor reveals a 40 foot wide and 60 foot deep foyer featuring a grand staircase in the center to an balcony, a gong, a pair of braziers burning brightly, a hallway at the end, two doorways on either side of the room; the left to a dining hall, and the right to a study featuring "magic scary shit", finally a ghost stands on the first landing of the grand staircase -- an elf.

Thazan unleashed breath of fire upon the entire party and manages to reach Kortha. Aeofel is first to chase Thazan down outside in the snow hoping to keep him from unleashing the dire boar. Thazan mounts his dire boar and brings his battleaxe down against the chain holding his mount in place. Kortha tramples Omin, Binwin, and Aeofel. Each member of the party tries to put the fire clinging to them out while maintaining the battle with Thazan. The team brings out all the classics: Magic Missile, Avenging Echo, Lance of Faith, and Sweeping Strike. Binwin charges the pair and knocks the boar prone with Thazan trapped underneath it. Multiple blows get the boar bloodied and enrage Thazan, when they arise they chase down Jim Darkmagic goring him, then Thazan downs him with his axe.

Acquisitions Inc. approach Ambershard manor finding it indeed guarded by Thazan Stormbellow and his dire boar. The party starts to strategize getting into the manor proper without having to fight Thazan if possible. Binwin rolls poorly in trying to sneak past this boar and barely manages to reach the front door without awakening it. Jim activated his Float power to effortlessly cross the yard. Aeofel rolls the first critical failure of the season screaming aloud and awakening the boar. Binwin is unsuccessful in trying to kick the door in and Acquisitions Inc. rolls for initiative.

While leaving the Fiveleague House Jim notices a 'spindly man' standing on the roof and shouts back to Barton. The creature disappears before Barton can notice him. The company passes through the foothills of the Dawnforge Mountains approaching Hammerfast. A winding road cuts through the crags to a blocky stone Dwarven gate, guarded by fur-laden Dwarves bearing weapons and metal masks.

Acquisitions Incorporated reintroduce themselves in the first episode of season three. Binwin Bronzebottom, Dwarf Fighter extraordinaire and employee of Acquisitions Inc. Omin Dran, CEO and roller of critical failures. Jim Darkmagic, of the Newhamp Shire Darkmagics. Aeofel Elhromane, wielder of 'Wheaton's Cockpunch of Furious Anger'. DM Chris Perkins, recipient of 'Wheaton's Cockpunch of Furious Anger'.

Aeofel finishes clearing his ledge of Skeletal Archers and fey steps down the central area. Omin finally manages to hit against the remaining Skeletal Archer on the ledge he just jumped down from but does not manage to yet kill it. Jim takes an arrow to the chest and the Necromancer shouts "I am in a merciful mood...leave now or regret it". Binwin is knocked unconscious. The Necromancer continues to attempt to raise something from a sarcophagus on the raised dais in the central area. Jim casts Force Orb on the Necromancer and bloodies him. Omin stays Binwin's death saving throws. Jim and Jeras enter a duel again, with Jim getting knocked out almost immediately. Omin stabilizes Jim and the party engages in musical chairs of dying with the exception of Aeofel who has been doing pretty well so far. Noticing that Aeofel is unbloodied, the Necromancer brings crimson Claws on Aeofel.

The Necromancer starts fighting directly against the party striking Aeofel with a lightning spell, and then immobilizes Jim with Crimson Claws -- black claws of shadow that erupt from the floor around Jim dealing necrotic damage. The Skeletons and Skeletal Archers fail to find any mark on their turn but Binwin becomes flanked by the undead hounds. Jim activates a cloud of cold dealing area of effect damage to the hounds while successfully saving and removing the Crimson Claws necrotic effects. Omin bloodies one of the Skeletal Archers on the ledges of the room, who continue to fire arrows down onto Aeofel. Meanwhile Binwin gets knocked to the ground and Jim begins a duel with the Necromancer who has approached the party at the top of the stairs. Crimson Claws rise again from the floor around Jim but fail.

Jim starts the episode still on fire and fails yet another saving throw. Chris tricks Scott into landing Binwin on a pressure plate that activates a sarcophagus set into one of the walls and pulls Binwin into an iron maiden. Aeofel dodges another crossbow bolt while looking back to see Binwin snatched. Aeofel rushes to the iron maiden to assist Binwin in escaping it. Jim continues to burn as he disables another flaming statue, failing his saving throw Jim uses his Amulet of Resolution to attempt his throw again and this time he succeeds. Binwin, with Aeofel's help, manages to push the iron maiden open and progress down the hallway to charge a crossbowman.

Aeofel lands an overwhelming strike attempting to save Binwin and reorganize the battle. This doesn't work as Binwin immediately gets attacked and downed while the party is surrounded, the Iron Snapjaw (Construct) that was lying dormant in the room is brought into the battle. Omin doesn't have time to rescue Binwin as he is great peril on his own. Omin lands one blow as both Aeofel and Jim miss and Omin is downed. With half the party on their backs, Aeofel blows his daily on the Iron Snapjaw. An unwitting brigand is attacked by the Snapjaw when he gets too close and barely manages to escape. Jim critically strikes at the last moment and destroys the Snapjaw. While Omin and Binwin are still down, Aeofel strides forward to kill the last foe of the encounter. Binwin immediately critically fails on his death saving throw.

The battle continues well into this episode. Omin, Jim, and Binwin each score a kill. A skulking rogue type that was eyeing the party and attacked Binwin briefly disappears during the chaos of the fight. This episode is significantly shorter than most and ends with the party still in combat.

Descending the rope ladder, Binwin Bronzebottom interrupts brigands grousing about their days guarding the tower and about their leader Falck. As Jim descends, he hangs upside down on the ladder dual-wielding wands and slaughters several minions. Battles continues as the rest of the party descend the rope ladder and enter the fray. Jim tosses an available brazier under a section of scaffolding in the room that a crossbowman is using to fire down upon the rest of the party. As the scaffolding begins to burn several unseen enemies join the battle as well. Omin takes serious damage and Aeofel declares his Oath of Enmity. Binwin plants the battle flag of Acquisitions Incorporated in the center of the room and the melee is well and truly on.

Aeofel, Omin, and Jim follow Binwin into combat in the tower. Two human crossbowmen face them down and start fighting, one calls for backup from outside the tower. Several critical failures come through by Omin and Aeofel while Binwin takes a critical hit from one of the two guards. After figuring out that he was accidentally using a power that requires a shield, Binwin instead brings a new power to the table and dishes out damage. After killing many guards, Omin calls their guide Sorik up the hill to join them while Jim discovers that the hole in the middle of the floor of this tower reaches a room twenty feet below and he can hear voices in that room. The party is initially undetected, and they toss the camp of the original dwarven prospectors and discover some gold. After interacting with these enemies, the party confers and realizes that they likely belong to a group of brigands that have begun to associate themselves with a death cult of Orcus. Aeofel finds that whenever he or Omi

The Player Characters start by introducing themselves again where Jerry Holkins again asserts that Omin "stands for something". In the rainy evening, the new PC Aeofel Elhromane is introduced to the party. Wisera attends to the party with ale and mead as they discuss the immediate plans to assist the town with a serious issue at the ruined Goldenhawk tower. Acquisitions Inc. has an appointment with Nathan Faringray, the captain of the local militia, tomorrow morning to receive instruction from this knight. Wisera wakens the party in the morning with stew and supplies. After preparing themselves, Omin leads the party to the Loveless Fields, a training ground for the Fallcrest guard. Jim performs magic tricks for the young recruits training while Binwin attempts to strike up conversation with a dwarf prospector but is rebuked.

Welcome to the pilot season full of new Acquisition Incorporated adventures, filmed on-location in an actual basement, delivered episodically for your amusement.